James

[goodfellow]

[continued from here]

"Oh, you're hungry," Robin purred, and pressed his body hard against him. Hard being the operative word. "Well, dig in."

Comments

[unreadytodie]

There was a lot going in James mind - anger, confusion, some resentment, some base instinct that called to fight... For now, what prevailed was relief.

He put a hand to Kersen's face and kissed him. It felt strange. Different, but good.

[kersen]

Relief was definitely what Kersen felt in that moment as well. First, that James was alive, and second, that he didn't hate him.

When the kiss broke, he said, "I am so, so sorry I wasn't there for you. If I'd know... but it doesn't matter. I'm here now. It's going to be okay, I'll... I'm going to do everything in my power to help you."

[unreadytodie]

There was also a part of James that wanted to serve Kersen. That wanted to belong to him somehow. It was a strange emotion James was quite uncomfortable with. That too was repressed for now. "You thought I was dead?" He didn't remember much of that night.

[kersen]

And Kersen really didn't want to talk about that night but he knew that he had to.

"I thought... I thought it was too late, or I hadn't done it right, or..." He paused, reset. "I tried to turn you, but it didn't seem to work, and Garrett told me it hadn't, that you were dead, and then he knocked me out, and..." He took a breath. "I woke up alone the next morning. I went to where we'd been and there was no body, but then there was a police report that they'd found a body there. I just assumed, and there was no trail, it didn't even occur to me... god, how could I have been so stupid." He dropped his head into his hands.

[unreadytodie]

James put his hand on Kersen's back, providing some comfort. "You didn't know," he said. He didn't quite feel that.

He remembered being alone, and feral. He remembered eating raw rats and pigeons. He still felt a wild itch, only barely restrained by his calm demeanour.

[kersen]

"You don't need to comfort me," Kersen said quietly. "My guilt here is justified on a number of levels."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't even know where to start. There's so much I need to explain, to teach you. And you shouldn't be on your own. You should plan to stay with me, for the foreseeable future."

[unreadytodie]

James nodded, if a little reluctant. "Yes, I suppose that's wise." Last time he met a human, he did try to kill him, after all.

[kersen]

"James..." Kersen put a hand to his face, his own filled with emotion. "When I thought you were dead, I... it broke me. I'm so sorry about all of this, but I can't even express how happy I am to see you."

[unreadytodie]

"As am I," James assured. "It's just... A lot. I need some time to... Give it all a place."

[kersen]

"Of course," Kersen said hastily.

He honestly didn't know where to start. With anything.

"What do you need most right now?" he finally asked.

[unreadytodie]

"I think I would like to be alone for a while..." James said. "I'll stay here, but... I just need to...think."

[kersen]

Kersen's heart sank. But he only nodded.

"The bar's opening soon. I can keep busy enough until after it closes. There's, um, there's blood in the refrigerator, and..." His voice was slightly small. "If you change your mind, or if you need me, I'll be just upstairs."

[unreadytodie]

There was blood in the refrigerator, but all James could think of was a perfect neck, a heartbeat and the feeling of life slipping away...

He needed to think. He needed to compose himself. He needed to learn to ignore his instinct.

"Thank you."

[kersen]

Kersen remembered what it was like. He also had no idea what James had been up to in this time... besides sleeping with pucks, apparently. Though this was why he was so incredibly worried.

He stood, and then hesitated, lingering, no idea what to say. I'm sorry? I love you?

Kersen hadn't had a chance to tell him he loved him properly. Garrett had forced it out of him, and James might not even remember it. Another thing stolen from them.

"Right," he said. "Well, you... know where to find me."