Anael

[goodfellow]

Robin decided to take the night off from being at the club. He even decided to take the night off from being out in general, and was enjoying an evening at home, alone, which was not terribly common for him.

One of his employees had given him some homemade pot brownies as a gift, so he washed a couple of them down with a glass of red wine, and then stood out on his balcony looking out at the city. He really did love it here. There were a lot of places and times he missed, but he was fairly content, all considered.

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[whispersoflove]

It was not the word Anael would have chosen. There were things he wished for, things he prayed for, when it came to Robin. But he was not going to argue rhetoric. "Only for you to let yourself feel," he answered, simply. "Love doesn't have to be a burden."

[goodfellow]

"I'm not you," said Robin. "I'm a puck. Love doesn't suit us. I like you, Anael. You mean something to me. But I don't love you. I don't love Fin. I don't love Prometheus. And I've been functioning perfectly well like this for a long time."

[whispersoflove]

"Do you truly believe that?" Anael asked, and again, it was not rhetorical. While he knew what Robin felt, he had no idea how much Robin might fool himself into thinking he did not feel.

[goodfellow]

"Yes," Robin said sharply.

[whispersoflove]

"You told me you didn't love, the first time we met," Anael told him quietly. There was no sadness in his eyes, because he was not sure that Robin's answer was truthful. He picked his t-shirt up off the floor and straightened up, meeting Robin's gaze. "Even then, before anything happened, I knew that it was a lie."

He was putting his clothes back on because he fully expected Robin to kick him out any second. He was not sure why he would not let this lie, now, but there was something about tonight.

[goodfellow]

Robin shrugged, not willing to respond to that. If was clear he wasn't going to be able to dispel Anael of that notion. And why should he bother trying?

[whispersoflove]

"Robin," Anael called out to him, so much love wrapped in his name, even as he took a couple more steps forward, to finally reach him, hopefully rest a hand on his arm, or on his stomach, if Robin let him. "It's part of why I love you so. Your ability to love. I'd never met a puck like you before. Why shy away from what makes you so special?"

[goodfellow]

Robin allowed the hand on his arm. Then he looked at him. Not angry, just... tired. "Pushing this doesn't help either of us, Anael. If you need my love, then you should stay away."

[whispersoflove]

"I don't need your love, Robin," Anael replied quietly. His other hand came to rest on the puck's hip, light and loose. "I only wish you'd let yourself be happy more, whether it's with me or someone else."

He did, sometimes, with Anael, but it felt so much like one step forward, two steps back, right now.

[goodfellow]

At that, Robin took a literal step back. "That's your problem," he said. "You think I have to be in love with someone to be happy. Maybe you do. But we're not all you."

[whispersoflove]

Frustration laced Anael's lungs, but he forced himself to take a breath, and stay where he was. When he spoke, his voice was calm. "I know how good you feel when you let yourself feel, Robin." But he did not know whether the puck was lying to him or lying to himself.

[goodfellow]

Robin thought of how he'd felt when Fin had insisted he loved him and then decided he needed Will there so he wasn't lonely. How he felt when Prometheus had shown up, been a dick to him, and then disappeared again. He thought about the fucking volcano. Though about Ishiah, even and by then was really annoyed with Anael for making him think about these things.

"Wrong," he said. "And I think we're done with this conversation."

[whispersoflove]

Anael vanished his remaining clothes and shoes with a thought, remaining clad in just the t-shirt and jeans. "You're the one who chooses to focus on the negative," he told the puck, sadness obvious in his voice, in his eyes, in the sloop of his shoulders. But the dismissal had been clear, and he turned to head for the terrace.

[goodfellow]

Robin had no intention of stopping him, but he did find himself reacting to how upset Anael seemed, and called after him, "Don't worry about me, angel. I'm fine."

[whispersoflove]

Anael paused by the French doors, eyes closed as he got a tight enough hold on his feelings that tears would not well up in his eyes, at least. They were still a little brighter than usual when he looked back at Robin over his shoulder. "I know your heart, Robin, and I love you. Don't ask me for the impossible." He could not stop worrying, no more than he could believe that Robin was 'fine'.

[goodfellow]

Robin didn't say anything to that. He really didn't know what to say anymore. So he just watched Anael go, and then walked back into the kitchen and opened a new bottle of wine.